In the winter of 2017, a website and a social project mobbingu.net will be three years old. Over these three years, the site has established itself as a unique resource on topic and content — almost eighty percent of articles and posts were written specifically for mobbingu.net. In our age, “copy-paste” is almost a relict “product”.
Five years ago, I underwent “academic mobbing” at the university, to which I devoted most of my life. Psychologists sometimes advise people in a difficult situation to consider whether they will be just as concerned about it five years from now. Then I wouldn't believe it if someone told me that these feelings would recede in two years, when I create a website to help people in situations of bullying and persecution and start seriously dealing with the problem of “aggression and bullying” in the workplace and among teenagers, start writing articles on these complex topics and even write the first fairy tale for children about how to resist violent actions. Five years ago, I could not even imagine that I would conduct open lectures and trainings about mobbing in children's literature, helping parents and teachers identify and overcome mobbing/bullying among children and adolescents. And the most important thing is that I decide to write about an issue that is not customary to talk about and write about at all — this is the problem of bullying in the academic (university and scientific) environment. When I raised this sensitive topic on the site, the site immediately began to come out on top in terms of browser queries. And when I heard words of support and approval from my colleagues, I realized that I was on the right track.
I know people who have been helped by the site to make the right choice in favor of freedom and physical health. Lecture attendees often thank me. According to them, after our classes they not only realize the importance of the problem of emotional violence and aggression in society, but also try to look at relationships in their families and in the work team from this perspective.
Helping people, I began to get rid of the consequences of psychological trauma on my own and, in the end, finally “reworked” my negative experience by creating a website and a community of the same name on Facebook. And at the moment when I realized that I had freed myself from resentments and difficult memories, I decided to talk about myself. I hope that my example can help someone break with the aggressor and overcome the consequences of trauma by telling your story to a psychologist, friends, family, or on our website in the “Your stories” section. It's never too late to do that. And I'm not afraid to admit that I was a victim of bullying, despite the fact that society tends to blame the “victim” of violence for what happened to her. I know it wasn't my fault. And I have always had and still have a good reputation and the respect of my colleagues and my numerous students. I am happy to tell my readers and listeners about myself, and I do it with a light heart.
I am a teacher, journalist, doctor of philology (Dr.Philol.) Daria Rostislavovna Nevskaya, created this site by revising her personal experience through academic mobbing. I have studied this topic in all its aspects and attracted people to the site who are ready to write for it, give and conduct interviews, and provide free psychological consultations. Three years ago, a young foreign language teacher helped me create a website Tatyana Naronova. The site looked different back then, but it was in the very first year of our existence that it was filled with its main content. Then a professional and talented person came to help me Ivan Neslukhovsky, which makes the site look exactly as you see it now. The site's stylish appearance and user-friendliness are due to its merit. He is a supporter of naturally increasing the site's rating and every time he is happy to note that we are quietly taking the lead in browser queries without any tricks, and site traffic is growing.
Together with a site psychologist Tatyana Lapshina and a psychotherapist Taras Ivashchenko I have been helping people with my advice in the “Psychological Counseling” section for a year now. I have written articles in all sections of the site, raising topics that have been covered up for many years by society traumatized by violence. People feel ashamed, hurt, unpleasant to talk about bullying and aggression, but talking about it is necessary to overcome their fear, doubts, and victimization. You need to talk about your mobbing experience to help people who find themselves in a situation of emotional abuse. Our stories offer people guidelines — how not to lose themselves and how to stop blaming themselves in situations of work, school or family mobbing.
The main objective of the site is to inform people about the dangers of mobbing/bullying. It is especially important to draw public attention to the problem of mobbing/bullying among teenagers and at school. At my lectures and trainings for teachers and parents, I talk about how important it is not to miss the moment when the team decides to nominate your child for the role of a “white crow” or “scapegoat”, and how to teach children to identify the situation of bullying, fighting back against aggressors and not being shy about asking adults for help. Children who find themselves in a mobbing situation in any of the “roles” — persecutor, victim, observer — can be traumatized for life. They rarely confess to their parents and friends what is happening to them, as aggression is considered the norm among teenagers. Children find themselves alone with the problem, as they blame themselves and are afraid to upset their parents.
I have experienced bullying and I understand that even an adult is afraid to be left alone with their feelings in a mobbing situation. It pains me to think that as I write these lines, a child is alone going through something that even as an adult caused me emotional exhaustion and physical malaise. And just like me back then, the little man doesn't know where to expect help from. It's hard to imagine that five years ago I didn't know what mobbing was and had no idea that there was “anti-mobbing” literature and that you could get professional help from psychologists and enlist the support of lawyers and labor law specialists.
If I then came across a website on the Internet that I created myself two years later, I would have been saved. But then there was no such site in Russian, and I didn't even know the word mobbing. If such a site caught my eye then, I would definitely know that they exist “stereotypes of persecution” (Renee Girard), who recognize mobbing, and that I'm in one of those stereotypical situations and one of the millions of people someone at the workplace wants to settle scores with, take out their complexes and find a way out of suffocating envy. When you realize that your situation is not unique, the feeling of ringing loneliness and outcast disappears. This is why it is so important to explain to children that their situation is not unique. In addition, it is important for a person who finds himself in a situation of bullying to understand that it is possible not to become a “victim” if you immediately fight back against the aggressors.
It's important to remember that there are people in the world who resist freaks and scoundrels who dream of making us regret that we're not like that or don't want to be like everyone else, don't want to put up with rudeness and lies. I created this site to educate and encourage people who are having a hard time at work, at home, at school or at college. And this summer they recommended that I create a video blog to make life easier for Internet users who can't read and prefer to listen. I enthusiastically started recording videos together with cameraman Vadim Syshchikov, which I will gradually upload to youtube. I am glad to present my channel to your attention mobbingu.net.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY2A2iOVXzQ&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p56kg9l_Zyc&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euIt9mpQpcE&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXuKG-u9MoY&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ4l091gybo&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BDfI52-PrQ&feature=youtu.be
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