MOBBING NO

“The volcano that was angry.” Working with a book

6.2.2021

Dear parents! I would like to introduce you to Samokat's wonderful graphic book “The Volcano That Was Angry” (2020). The author of the text and drawings is Natalya Baiduzha, a designer and illustrator from Siberia. Age marking 0-3.4-6. I am very closely researching new children's books that raise the topic of aggression and bullying. And not all books appeal to me, and I don't want to talk about them all. But I immediately became interested in Vulcan, although it is for children of an age I don't work with. I looked at it carefully several times and figured out how parents or caregivers could “work” with her.

The story of a little volcano who sometimes gets angry when they take things away from him, laugh at him and don't understand his resentment is painted in a style that is completely unusual for children's books. This “editing style” is at the same time close to children's drawing and avant-garde art. Each picture is multi-component — it is very convenient to view it in fragments. I enjoyed looking at the pictures several times and each time I found new heroes there — animals from the jungle that live at the foot of the volcano and sometimes suffer from its intemperance. Children will be interested in finding animals in pictures, naming them and counting them. It is important to draw the children's attention to the fact that the animals around the volcano suffer from the anger of the volcano, and the whole world is changing right before our eyes.

In accordance with the changing mood of the volcano, the color of the pattern also changes. The book is dominated by blue, gray, black and red colors, the combination of which or the predominance of one color over another depends on the emotional state of the volcano. It is quite obvious that when he is “boiling with anger”, everything around him turns red, and when he is calm, it turns gray-blue. Children should pay attention to these changes and color-state correlations when reading together. In this book, as in any graphic novel, not all the events depicted are described in words. The book develops the ability to verbalize/teach the hero's feelings and thoughts, and then transfer these new words to the young reader's own feelings and emotions. It would be useful to ask the child to say everything that happens to the volcano on every page. For example, explain the reason for its boiling (the leopard took the donut) and, together with the child, answer the question: “How did Vulcan feel at that moment?” All the words that are chosen during the discussion can be applied to the state of the youngest reader, reminding him of situations when children took something away from him. And these states and feelings (resentment, anger, anger) should never be stigmatized; on the contrary, an adult should be told that these are completely normal feelings and emotions, that such situations were repeated in your childhood.

The child must understand that spontaneous aggression and the desire to take someone else's property do not apply so much to him personally as it is often related to psychology or parenting. If you notice that your child often complains that everything is being taken away from him and that he is endlessly offended, then, of course, you should listen to this, understand each specific situation, and protect your child from aggression. However, we should not help to consolidate it in the “status of a victim”.
In order for parents to be able to understand the conflict situation, heart-to-heart talks like Vulkanchik had with his grandmother are important. She showed him by example that “boiling up” is often the destiny of an immature young soul who cannot cope with her emotions.

I would advise parents who will read this book with their children to also recall similar stories from their childhood. And don't forbid your child to be angry and offended so that he doesn't stigmatize this state of “prohibition of emotion”. Psychologists are well aware of the consequences of such prohibitions on the expression of emotions (“don't shout”, “don't cry”, “don't sulk”, “don't you dare raise your voice”). The depreciation of children's normal emotions leads to the fact that sooner or later these emotions in the form of neurotic reactions of “eternal victim” or aggression will find a way out — in fights with classmates, in bullying. Suppressed emotions lead to neurosis, depreciation and aggression. This means that when naming the conditions in which the hero of the book finds himself, you should not condemn them, but give them a name and tell the child how to cope with them. There is no obvious didacticism in Natalia Baiduzh's book, and this is very good and correct. All the advice to children is given when Vulcanchik talks to his grandmother, a huge gray and sleeping volcano.

Among the tips, there is one that relates to game psychology. It contributes to the development of symbolic thinking and imaginative ideas in a small person. The grandmother tells her grandson: “If you feel like yelling or throwing something on the floor, anger and irritation are right there.” In the picture, we see that Vulcanchik imagines allegorical characters — Anger and Irritation — who come to visit him. And my grandmother advises uninvited “guests” to say: “Hi guys! I'm still busy, but you're coming in. Drink some tea for now. And I'll be free in ten minutes.” When our hero returns, they become frail, lose their strength, and then disappear altogether. It would be great to know from the child how he understood this “guest” situation and ask him to draw his Anger and Irritability with colored pencils or markers. If the children are older, you can ask them to draw situations when Anger and Irritability come to them, and you can talk about how to act in specific cases.

I always recommend that parents remember stories of delayed anger when you were angry, but when you switched to something else, you quickly forgot about your anger and decision to “figure it out”. Examples from parents' lives, their stories about their childhood, in which parents are ordinary children with all their problems and fears, are very good for establishing trusting relationships in the family. Sometimes you should talk about how you put your foot on it, how you made mistakes, how you violated rules and prohibitions, and how you suffered from the consequences of these violations. By removing the halo of sinlessness and omniscience, parents and grandparents get closer to their children. And Vulkanchik's grandmother told her grandson just in time how angry she was when she was young.

The book has one more tip for children who find it difficult to deal with their anger. Vulcanchik has an uncle who does yoga. As we understand, this is any physical activity that “takes” excess energy and helps to get rid of aggression. Great advice, but it's also only mentioned in the book.

It is very easy to make images of a family of volcanoes with your own hands from colored clay or plasticine. Children of all ages, looking at the book's illustrations, make their own eyes on Vulcan, his grandmother and uncle, animals, Anger and Irritation. And with these characters, you can play a home play based on a book, or you can try to go beyond the plot. I would recommend invention/simulating recognizable situations in which Vulcanchik would have to cope with aggression and resolve conflicts on his own, accepting and understanding the “offender”'s own feelings and emotions. It is useful to simulate a home situation in which a child shows aggression towards elders, refuses to comply with requirements, is capricious and offended.
Psychologist Yu.B. Gippenreiter proposed the method of “active listening”, which I suggest parents use in a situation of uncontrollable outburst of a child's emotions: “Actively listening to a child means “returning” to him what he told you in a conversation, while identifying his feelings.” I would add to this recommendation — “outlining him and my feelings”. What it might look like using the game technique codenamed “Volcano”. The parent should listen to the child's complaint without interrupting him, and then repeat this situation using volcano figures, naming the emotions that all parties to the conflict had. For example, my daughter takes Vulcanchik and shouts that her older sister took away her new sketchbook:
Vulcan Baby:
- Tanka took my sketchbook away from me!
Mama-Vulcan:
- I understand/see/feel what you're experiencing. You're in pain, you're hurt, you think that the world isn't fair, that they buy the best things to Tanya. You know, I hate this situation too. I feel guilty because I didn't have time to tell you that I bought this album specifically for Tanya. She urgently needs to bring it to drawing class tomorrow. And I'll buy it for you next time. I'm sorry. Tanya should also have explained it to you, rather than silently select it.

A playful study of a conflict situation with the help of the characters in Natalia Baiduzha's book “The Volcano Who Was Angry” (“Scooter”, 2020) can become a good family tradition that helps children develop emotional intelligence and assertiveness.
I am sure that this wonderful graphic story, made with great taste and tact, will evoke extremely positive emotions for children and parents.Samokatbook

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