How to respond to bullying against children and adolescents with Asperger syndrome?

Teens with Asperger syndrome and autism are at increased risk of being bullied by their peers.

Teen bullying is a wide range of violent behavior that includes direct and indirect bullying. Direct attacks can be verbal or physical (e.g. teasing, name-calling, shoving and hitting), and such direct harassment is more common among boys than among girls. The indirect manifestations of bullying, which are more common among women, are expressed in the spread of humiliating rumors, often in order to exclude a peer from the company and joint activities.

Teenage bullying with the help of modern technologies gives rise to the phenomenon of “cyberbullying”. Using electronic devices, violent messages can be instantly brought to the attention of a wide audience, and their senders can remain anonymous or use false names, and are able to attach images that are explicit or derogatory. This so-called “electronic hostility”, which includes various types of harassment and intimidation, is carried out through:

• blogs;
• chats;
• email;
• instant messaging systems;
• sms;
• websites;
• other forms of electronic communication.

Despite the variety of manifestations of teenage bullying, researchers identify several fundamental features in it:

• hostility is based on an imbalance of power between the attacker and the victim;
• hostility is recurrent;
• hostility is intentional.

Bullying can worsen any teen's mental health, but this is especially true for those diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and high-functioning autism, as they already have to deal with high levels of stress. Teens who are bullied are more likely to think about suicide and show signs of suicidal behavior. Too often, media reports of bullying suicides highlight this horrible consequence of teenage bullying. In addition, victims of cyber bullying are more likely than those who have not been subjected to such harassment to use alcohol and drugs, earn punishment at school, skip classes, and are directly bullied in real life.

Teenage bullying is also associated with an increased number of cases of carrying weapons and fighting that have resulted in injuries. Studies of several school shootings (e.g. Pearl, Mississippi; West Paducah, Kentucky; Jonesboro, Arkansas; Springfield, Oregon; Littleton, Colorado) point to bullying as a contributing factor to the outbreak of violence.

Many aspects of teenage bullying are reminiscent of similar bullying among young children. However, there are also distinctive features. For example, teenagers are reluctant to report bullying to parents or school authorities. In one study, teenagers were reluctant to talk about cyber bullying with teachers or other adults at school because cell phones used as a means of bullying are prohibited in schools. Teens may also be reluctant to report cyber bullying to parents for fear of losing their cell phone or access to the Internet.

However, if you think that your peers influence your child more than you do, then this is absolutely not the case! Research shows that your actions can make a difference. It has been established that appropriate parental behavior can prevent manifestations of teenage aggression or protect children from it. Parental assistance will help with any form of bullying. Let's consider specific behavioral strategies:

1. Provide a safe, loving, and intellectually stimulating home environment for your teen with Asperger syndrome or high-functioning autism. It has been shown that collaborative activities, such as homework assistance and family meals, are associated with a decrease in bullying.
2. Some studies have linked the increase in bullying to uncontrolled watching of TV. In addition, it is necessary to monitor the child's activities on the Internet and his communication via SMS.
3. Teach your special children to manage negative emotions by leading by example. Consider how you respond to intense anger, fear, or sadness, focusing on understanding and accepting your emotions, expressing them without blaming others, and responding to them without showing hostility.
4. Take every opportunity to meet your child's friends.
   Traditional teenage bullying tends to decrease as children age, peaking in middle school and declining by the end of school. Cyber bullying, however, may be an exception to this rule. More research is needed to determine whether this behavior becomes less pronounced as children get older. Either way, even if your teen with Asperger's syndrome or high-functioning autism doesn't admit to being a victim of bullying, talk to them about teenage bullying and suggest specific solutions to keep the situation under control, just in case:

• Entering into a conflict can lead to an escalation of hostility.
• If you're being harassed or attacked by bullies, reach out to an adult you trust
• If there is a threat of attack, don't go alone, but stay close to your classmates during the day. Don't go home unaccompanied.
• Spend time with close friends, try to communicate with guys who are friendly to you. Make new friends during extracurricular activities (e.g. theater and music clubs, sports clubs, etc.)
• Keep your posture, make eye contact, and speak confidently to the bully. In order to stop him, it may be enough to just say “stop”, or quietly walk away, or block text messages and emails from him

If your teen admits to being bullied, take action. Start with an encouraging conversation. Say you'll do everything you can to help him. And also that you will not take away your cell phone or Internet access due to bullying. Never imply that the harassment is your child's fault. Then do the following:

1. Find out how school policy addresses the issue of teenage bullying, and how institution staff are required to respond to known or suspected cases of bullying.
2. Instead of looking for the culprit, ask for help in solving the problem. Keep a journal of meetings. Remember, it may take time for teachers and administrative staff to properly investigate bullying cases.
3. Start a dialogue with a teacher who knows your child well. Ask if the teenager's behavior has changed, and if there are any other signs that cause caution. You can also contact the principal or other school official.
4. Record details and facts as objectively as possible (for example, the date of the incident, who was involved, what exactly happened, etc.).

If the measures listed above do not help, or your teen with Asperger syndrome has been physically injured or psychologically traumatized during prolonged bullying, consult a psychologist. You can also contact an attorney. Legal action to stop bullying can make your place of residence safer for all teenagers.

Translation: Ildar Skrizhalin
http://outfund.ru/kak-reagirovat-na-travlyu-detej-i-podrostkov-s-sindromom-aspergera/