Mathematician

Mathematician
A story about Tatyana Rick's school childhood and situations of bullying by writer, psychologist, teacher, and textbook author.

I thought she hated me.
I was 13 years old and really wanted to be beautiful, so I took my hair clip off my ponytail. It was uncomfortable to walk with your hair down: it kept popping into your eyes. But it was beautiful: the hair curled on the temples and shone brown, reddish and honey in the sun.

My mother said that I would be happy to brighten them, and brewed chamomile broth. I kept my hair in it for a long time and it turned yellow. I also washed them with onion peel broth, which is what Easter eggs are now colored with. Easter was not celebrated at that time. This was not possible in the Soviet Union. But the hair turned golden.

I stopped in front of the big school mirror between the dining room and the stairs leading to the auditorium and watched my hair shimmer. It's beautiful, yeah. Well, it's okay that they're in the face. I'll get used to it.

-Rick, what did you hang on? - said Ilyinichna, our mathematician, out of the blue, right in the middle of class. - Got excited? We're going to marry you to some drunkard, there are a lot of them near the supermarket.

I thought she hated me if she said so. I didn't do anything to her. And I had a pretty good 4 in math. Before her, when Nina Andreyevna taught us, I tried harder, and I always had an A. And it doesn't matter what my grades are. What does it have to be in an adult's head to say that to a girl? I felt sad and weird. Why? For what?

It wasn't done all at once. She clung to me over and over again.
- Tanka, go to another school, - classmates said, - Ilyinichna won't give you life. She won't fall behind if she clings to anyone.

So where am I going to go? Our favorite is cool here, Olga Ivanovna. Everything is native here. I was just patient. The thought that there would be some trouble in math again made my stomach feel empty and sad.

Indeed, if she chose a victim, a mathematician would peck at her long and hard. But if anyone snapped back, she fell behind faster. So Deryabin was rude to her a couple of times, and she unwithered.
Actually, she thought she was joking like that. That this is ridiculous. The class giggled servile. Everyone was afraid to “come under fire”.

By the end of 7th grade, she had somehow calmed down. More precisely, I found other objects, but gradually unhooked me.

Mom said:
-I don't say hello to her when I meet her outside.
Mom was also offended. For me.

In 9th grade, we staged a play about dolls. Such an intricate story: a secret theater, there are puppets — bewitched people, a villainous owner, love... I brought the story from a pioneer camp, and we staged it all on our own. I organized the process, drew a poster and played one of the main roles, of course. I was one of the dolls. I had a beautiful blue dress — a flared dress with a white collar and a huge bow, just like a doll should.

After the performance in class, Ilyinichna suddenly said to Sonya, who was also a doll:

-Tuchkova, you need to lose weight. Here's Rick, a slim, real doll.

Tuchkova nodded. Well, yeah, she needs to lose weight. And I was a little stunned. ME? Slim? A real doll? Is she serious now or is she teasing again? I once thought I was fat in first grade. In first grade, our teacher talked about me like that. I believed I was fat. And all of a sudden... I was even afraid to be happy. But I still thought, “Maybe I'm really crazy?”

Still, I was sure she hated me.

After graduation, I returned to work at my native school. It was perestroika, and the time was not very full. At school, all teachers were given orders, which meant that they could buy good products that were not available in the store at that time. The order included buckwheat! And also a duck! We've never tasted duck before. And there were orders where there was no duck, where there was fish. It was possible to choose.

Ilyinichnaya and I were standing in the locker room, packing our orders into bags and talking. She asked me about my illness. I was already sick and my legs weren't very well. And all of a sudden I saw that she felt sorry for me. And he even cares somehow.

-Tanya? How is that? Will you be able to give birth?
I was very surprised again. The second time, after the “doll”.

I suddenly realized that all this was not anger or hate, it was just nonsense. And I've forgiven her.
Then I had to leave school due to illness and started working from home. Then I finally managed to have a son.

Once I met her at the supermarket. That one. By the way, there were no drunkards there anymore.
We once chatted and talked and talked. Suddenly — noise, gunshots, “Put your hands on the hood!” We quickly stepped aside. Someone was apparently detained by the police. Oh, it's a good thing we weren't hit by a stray bullet! They walked away and kept talking.

My son was growing up. One day, the nanny reported that she met my classmate Lena in the yard. We had four Lena, and I didn't immediately understand who we were talking about. And when I went outside, of course, I immediately found out. We used to be friends; we went to a club together and went for a walk. Her son, Vovka, was a little younger than my Vitalik.

Once Lenka asked me:
-Don't you know Ilyinichna's phone number?
-No, why do you need it?
-I would take Vovka to her. It's harmful, of course, but the teacher is amazing! It's just beautiful. As I explained! Everything is always clear! And I want Vovka to go to math school. I need to work out. Well, she is an amazing teacher! Amazing, yeah!

I was surprised to myself. Lenka also flew in from Ilyinichna. And I didn't think she was such an amazing teacher. After Nina Andreyevna, everything seemed a little different to me. Well, I still didn't have her phone number.

It's been a few years. So we decided to celebrate 25 years of high school graduation with our class. We chipped in at the cafe. Someone said that we should call teachers if anyone is alive and well and wants to. Olga Ivanovna was no longer in the world. And Ilyinichna was quite herself. And it hasn't even changed much. And she didn't look like she was 80 at all.

I sat next to her at the table. It was all delicious. I suggested that everyone talk about themselves, how life turned out, and who achieved what.

-What wonderful people have grown up! - Ilyinichna told me. - Who would have thought!

Then everyone danced. Valerka came up to me. He is now captain of the river fleet.

-If I had known what this bastard would happen, I would never have come. She dragged me down the hall by the hair in fifth grade. And she shouted that I would disgrace school.

Valerka is now tidy, and then he was a skinny child from a poor ordinary family. I don't know how he could embarrass the school there. He was a good kid, he was kind. My heart aches.

-I'm sorry, I said. “Sorry. I've forgiven me. Well, she's stupid. But it's been so many years. She doesn't remember, of course.
“I'll never forgive you,” Valerka shook his head. “Never. Oh, if I only knew it would happen! I would never come!

At the table, Ilyinichna leaned towards me:
-Write down my phone number. If my son has problems with math, call me and I'll help you.
And I wrote it down. Lenka, on the other hand, said she was an amazing teacher.

It's been three years. And math problems did arise. The son ended up in a bad class where the boys were in a nervous relationship. That's probably why I missed a lot, and launched some items. Including math. He actually considered it an item he wouldn't need.

We managed to move from a bad class to a successful one, but Zoya Petrovna, a mathematician, was there, a merciless tank pressor. And my handsome man clashed with her. I decided to be an anti-tank hedgehog. He announced that he didn't need math, and he didn't want to and wouldn't study it.

Zoya Petrovna bombed him with endless twos and promised not to allow him to take part in the final exams. I was called to school and I arrived. In winter, it was not easy at all in a wheelchair. I've put all my important things on hold. I thought about discussing with Zoya Petrovna how to get out of the conflict peacefully. And she just didn't come to the meeting.

The situation was critical. I found Ilyinichna's phone number. She had a lot of students, but she found time. Soon my son also asked for a second hour of the week.

-Tanya, I don't even know if I'll be able to do anything, Ilyinichna told me. “The material is very well-launched.
-Oh, Maria Ilyinichna, it's like I don't understand! I'm a tutor myself. Do what you can. You can't jump above your head anyway. Thanks anyway!

Time went by. The handsome man regularly went to Ilyinichna and studied. Zoya Petrovna also tore metal. Didn't allow me to take the exam. The second trimester was already crowned with a double. The class teacher tried to influence the situation, but failed. The tank pressure, as usual, was straight ahead and moved along its usual trajectory.

That's when I got involved. I talked to the head teacher. I said that I really wouldn't like to complain to the Department of Education, as I hate the teacher and the complainants, but soon I won't have a choice. Although my son's character is not a gift, thank God everything is with his brains. And twice a week with a tutor they should get you to at least three.

The head teacher was also a mathematician. She tested the handsome man and was admitted after the preliminary exams.
The tank shot down Parliament. So what? The handsome man passed math by 4! And he just fell slightly short of the top five! The tank was furious. The handsome man waved his victory banner. The school rejoiced. A lot of teachers were there for us.

Ilyinichna called me in the summer when I was abroad and asked me how the anti-tank hedgehog had an exam. Uh, I forgot to call her and tell her we won!.. You bastard! Well, it's okay, let's catch up!

When I came back, I called and agreed that we would come in and bring my autographed books. For her great-granddaughter.

The son went up to the apartment. I stayed outside in my stroller. And then nature frowned, strained and started to rain. It was as if I had been patient for a long time and waited for the right moment. It was raining terribly, and I whizzed into the arch. Only small splashes flew here.

-Where are you? - the son shouted, leaning out of the entrance.
-Here in the arch!
-She calls us to drink tea — if it rains. With marshmallow.

For some reason, I was happy to be invited. I went to the entrance. But there's an ambush there. There are stupid rails on the steps, and of course the stroller wheels don't fit into them. Well, who would doubt it! We didn't get to visit.

We were at the entrance. It was warm and dry in here. And for some reason my mouth felt sweet, like I was drinking tea with this marshmallow.

It rained and poured, streams washed the sky, ran along the asphalt, washed away, washed away, washed away what had accumulated in vain, what lay in the corners, wrinkles and folds. Asphalt. Time. Lives.