Communication, only communication in which there is a desire and opportunity to express our requests, will save us. Emotional intelligence, those soft skills, include the ability to ask for what you need — feedback, advice, guidance. I see now that it's especially clear that children don't know how to ask them for advice (I teach them this at my School of Peer Education), and students know how to demand feedback (I wonder who taught them this?) , but never learned how to ask for advice. They send ready-made term and bachelor chapters without using my advice from a supervisor. I was happy when sophomore students writing my term papers asked for two consultations in a week. This is progress and evidence that they understand that the result is their area of responsibility, which means that they must shake their hearts out of me so that I can tell and explain everything to them. And this (not) /ability to ask plays a very important role in people's lives. I see that the vast majority of people who come to me for help don't know how to ask for it. Adults who write letters to me about bullying their children usually don't know how to formulate a request. They simply report information about their problem, but at the same time they walk around the bush without formulating their request. And in this situation, I always say, “I don't understand what you want me to do?” Only this harsh phrase makes some of them ask for help or advice. And others answer my question like this: “Yes, I don't want anything. I'm just telling you, knowing that's what you're doing.” People waste my time, get involved in their problems and wait for me to offer help, and then they can decide whether to accept it or not.
I don't know why we don't have a culture of asking for help. I'll assume that she died out of use, because people no longer believe that anyone would respond to their request. People have been taught over the years to think that only the weak ask for help. And in modern times, asking for help has begun to label a loser. Please note that it is common for us to know everything ourselves. Facebook is proof of this. However, it should be noted that it was Facebook that gave people the opportunity to seek help from the collective mind without fear of being ridiculed. And this is where “Peace and Death Is Red” works. But one-on-one person hasn't learned to ask. This is much harder to do than reach out to your friends in the feed. And why is that? There is more responsibility, and the result is unpredictable. What if they say no, laugh?
I look at this problem in many ways. And I would very much like our children to be able to formulate their requests and not be afraid to ask for help, ask for advice or advice. This “soft skill” could save their lives.
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