I'm thinking of girls who were groped with impunity by a TV connoisseur. None of them told their parents about the harassment. And the reason for this “silence of the lambs” is that parents themselves are methodically undermining their children's trust. A child who is not sure that his parents will not hesitate to take his side will never turn to them for help. A child who is used to parents attacking him with accusations without even understanding the situation will not tell them about the obscene words and sexual assaults of an adult. The girl, who was not talked to at home about harassment and its manifestations, does not recognize the situation and is likely to find herself in the rabbit position in front of the boa constrictor and freeze without resisting the pervert. A girl or boy who was not taught at home to defend their borders and defend their point of view in an argument with adults would probably not think of objecting to an adult. If an adult humiliates you, then you were wrong or wrong yourself. Teenagers often feel guilty without guilt, but they don't show the show. They are burdened by their “misdemeanors”, and parents have no idea that their justified or unfounded accusations increase the child's insecurity and lower self-esteem. I can compare this impact of endless remarks to the power of sound that a dog's ear senses. Dogs are afraid of fireworks and thunder because of the structure of their ears. Their ear is designed in such a way that it significantly amplifies the sound of the explosion, as if a grenade exploded above their ear. This is how teenagers perceive all the comments that their parents make about them. They may not pretend, but the impact of an offensive word on a child at this age increases several times.
I remember when I was 12-14 years old... Even with all my trusting relationships with my mom, I didn't tell her about obscene offers and even attacks by adult men. Fortunately, my mother talked to me about these topics and explained how to act, and I used her recommendations several times when I was young. This saved me. I fought or called for help, depending on the situation. But I didn't tell her about it, although I was sure she would never accuse me of walking down a dark street wearing a short skirt and high heels when I was 16, so I was attacked. I then fought off my rapist with an umbrella, and a passer-by helped me. My mother's conversations also helped me educate my friends with whom my parents did not talk about these topics. This is how I helped my classmate understand what the coach wanted her to do. She understood and told her mom that she wouldn't do this sport again and was taken out of the section. We were 12 years old at the time.
And I think about how important it is to have a trusting relationship with children and talking openly with them about all these complex and important topics in order to equip them with knowledge about dangerous situations and confidence that parents can always find support and understanding.Don't get in a car with two people or teach girls how to fight back
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