Gala Metreveli shot a very strong and tough documentary “Don't Touch Me” (REN TV). In my opinion, this is the first honest film about mobbing in which there are no distortions in the interpretations of the tragic events, there are no discrepancies in experts' assessments, and there is no inappropriate “on the one hand... on the other hand” in this case. Society must recognize that mobbing/bullying is an absolute evil of our lives.
We should not keep silent about the facts of bullying, should not blame the victim of mobbing, should not stigmatize and expel children with aggressive behavior, as this aggression most often hides the pain and humiliation that mobbers themselves have experienced. We must teach our children to distinguish between “mobbing” at the earliest stages, to distinguish “mobbing” from the hooligan habits of their classmates. We must teach children how to resist aggression and protect themselves and their friends. We should talk to children about these topics, read books with them and watch movies that can lead us to have a frank conversation about teenage violence. And the state should provide for a set of anti-mobbing measures that are being practiced in all EU countries and in the United States. Parents should not be afraid to talk about their problems; they should not feel like lonely warriors on the field of mobbing.
I would especially like to draw parents' attention to the fact that in all the tragic stories told in the film, children were left alone with their grief. They had no one to turn to for advice and help. At first, they were afraid to tell their parents, for fear of upsetting them or causing anger, and then they got used to their position as a scapegoat. There was no one near the victims of mobbing who could advise them on how to behave in these critical situations. And this is another truth about mobbing. Children often do not share their school problems with parents that are not related to grades. They perceive their classmates' aggression as a common phenomenon in school life and try to cope on their own, and sometimes they succeed — either “outgrow” the problem or change school or class, but for some children this situation is insurmountable.
To prevent our children from being left alone with their “little” troubles, parents should be friends with them, constantly talk, take their side, and teach them to defend themselves. And what if you don't have such a trusting relationship with your children? In my opinion, it is necessary for your child to find a smart older friend (tutor, mentor, coach, teacher, psychologist, relative) with whom the child can share everything that concerns him. And let me also give myself one piece of advice to parents: don't brush off the child's problems that seem insignificant to you, don't say the sacramental phrase “everyone went through it”, don't let hamam teachers humiliate your children, and do not cultivate in children a tolerance for violence, which will eventually turn into victimization and a scapegoat complex.
If the child's behavior has changed, and you can't understand the reason for these changes, then don't waste your time — go to school, talk to teachers, psychologists, and other parents, write letters to the Department of Education with reference to the Education Act, use the international terms “mobbing/bullying” in conversations with the school administration and in letters, ring all the bells, say “dirty laundry”, talk about “unpleasant things”” loudly, as the filmmakers did. But before you get involved in a fight, think carefully about what is more important to you — to save the child by taking him from a toxic environment, or to achieve the truth? And try to help parents whose child has become an outcast and tell your child how to support the “victim” of school bullying, because sometimes it's enough to show a little involvement and pay attention to someone who “everyone doesn't like” to change him, and indeed your life, for the better.
Watch Gala Metreveli's film ”Don't touch me!”.
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